Another counselor and I were recently talking about the career course I developed and taught, and she expressed curiosity about what I meant when I spoke about teaching my students "genuine networking." I certainly don't think I'm the only one who tries to get out of the icky "using people" and self-promoting mindset that is the common idea of networking. Many people express dislike for it when I invite their real reactions to the idea. For me, I couldn't mesh with that either, so this other mindset sort of developed by necessity, and I've tried to share it with others as a way to more humanistically build connections with professionals that everyone can actually enjoy.
I approach networking first as a way to discover "doors" leading to varied career and life paths that are being lived in different ways by people around us; second, as a way to get to and through those doors to jobs or other opportunities. Usually people think of meeting people to ask for jobs when they think of networking. But placing the utilitarian goal behind the relational one helps us get away from the yucky "I'm talking to you to get a job" angle, and moves us towards a richer, more humanistic, "I'm curious about you and wonder how I can learn from you" mindset. And the nice thing is, when we focus on building relationships, we win regardless of whether there's a job to be offered or not. Learning about others (and through reflection on that, about ourselves) can benefit us as we pursue any opportunity that might come available. And when we know people in the areas we do want to work in, it does help our new friends to make connections between their workplace's needs and what we have to offer, so that we might get leads to opportunities that may be a great match. Here are a few other things I woudl suggest for you to keep in mind:
These are things I've learned over years of building my own relationships with people who share professional interests, and teaching these things to others. The thing that remains hardest for me is to slough off that professional persona to be more of myself. Something in my personal history and personality makes that a stickier habit to get past, but I work on it and truly enjoy the relationships (with others and with myself) that have grown in the process. I encourage you to recognize that these mindsets and ways of relating are habits that can be built. Self-confidence to support reaching out to role models also can be developed by practicing things like positive self-talk and recognizing your small wins. This is no "easy trick for more effective networking" in the usual utilitarian sense. Instead, this approach opens up opportunities for vulnerability by taking some risks. But the rewards of more real engagement are stronger and closer relationships, which can bring wonderful things.
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AuthorI believe in our exciting potential for growth. Here I'll reflect on lessons I'm learning as we share that path. Archives
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